I had a very interesting dream last night.
I met a psychologist/therapist person who basically asked me of my problems and what I was afraid of, etc. I told him of my experiences with the military and something about how I hated to do tests and they made me do tests I didn't want to do. (I guess this could be interpreted as simply they told me to do things I had no interest or desire to do).
Then I told him about my goal to be a full time writer. This is the most important part of the dream.
He told me that I should do it only as a hobby, that he didn't see me achieving this goal because I didn't have a good enough reason or I simply didn't have it in me to do it. That I just wasn't a writer.
I got really emotional and kept telling him lots of reasons of why, not that I could, HAD to do it. One of them was that even if I did something else for a living, I would still make up stories, they were a part of who I was. I love them that much. I'd create them for free.
But the best reason was the reason I gave him right before I woke up to my 6:00am alarm.
I said, very passionate at this point, that if I could do achieve this goal, that even if the small possibility existed that I could overcome my weaknesses, overcome my anxieties, my flaws, eliminate all my bad habits, if I could change and actually make it happen, then it would be worth it and be a goddamn shame if I gave up this opportunity for real personal growth.
Or something like that. I think it was better said in the dream. Basically the idea of how it would positively change my life was so great that it was worth it even if it would be difficult or near impossible. The benefit of overcoming all these personal obstacles was greater than even the pleasure of writing and that was the reason I should never give up on it.
It would be a real achievement and a statement on what I can do and what was possible.
As I pulled myself out of bed after this very enlightening dream, two phrases or affirmations came to mind that I plan on repeating to myself often.
"If everything in life was easy, nothing would be fun."
"Discomfort and pain are a part of life, so embrace both."
And that pretty much sets the tone for this glorious day.